sweet rain

0631

No I'm not selfish. and no i dont wanna be mean. im a nice person. im just a good girl in love... with a wrong person. why. why does it have to be him. it has been months and im still not over him. even after, knowing, he already has someone to call at 3am when hes lonely. and surprise surprise. its not me. and might never will be me. i know i will be the only one hurting. and im trying to get over him. his smile. his stupid jokes. the addicting cigarette mixed with sweet scent that lingers around him. his voice. his eyes. the comfort of his hoodies. and the warmth of his embrace. he knows all my secrets and i know his. all dark and everything good. hes my little pandora box. his sleepy raspy voice when we talk about those crap at 3am. ah fuck.  will i ever forget all these just by seeing somebody else. cant i just keep him in a corner of my heart without anyone knowing? will i be really okay to keep these feelings inside me? i need to let go. but now that he gave me a piece of him, it makes me wanting more. more of him and more of his touch. i used to get addicted when hurting myself with those damned blades. and this feels like another form of it. i refuse to feel that im hurting because hes everything and the only thing i want. but hes not mine. we're  just friends. just friends. just. friends. and i'll be repeating this in hope that it will come true for me. so here it is. my favourite drug. my only addiction. the only thing i crave. you. and your touch. i love you. my sweet sweet rain.

The reason why

I don't wanna make a long wish buuuut you're 16 now! 6/6/14 finally and you've gone through years of different challenges and obstacles. I still remember the first time i met you which was around march and i can see your tears streaming down through your cheeks. I stood there and thought "why would a girl sit alone and cry?". And i realized that you've just gone through a horrible breakup with someone so stupid he doesnt realize that he loss an angel. And when nabel motivated you word by word, i looked through your eyes and i saw hope surrounded by sadness and depression covered by those glossy eyes. A day after that, we met somewhere at hutan bandar and you were just going to buy a drink. you looked at me and smile. i was surprised cause i stared at your eyes for too long and i feel embarrassed so i looked down. We talked so much during april and i still remember the time where you teased me for my eyebags and called me a panda. At first i took it as an insult but i got used to it. then a week before exam, i met you again. which was during hari guru. everytime you talked to anis, i can feel a sense of friendliness and kindness in yourself. i started to end up into a conclusion where you're actually a nice girl trying to survive in a new place. you're innocent and those haters come at you because they dont have what you have. you are beautiful, you are funny, you are kind, you have one of the best smiles yet and i surely can look at your eyes for hours without a word. It was not that close until we hanged out last week and trust me, i was shy as f-. you looked really great at that time and i spend most of my time with you there. i saw everything in you. and i started to fall for you. The way you walk, the way you drink, the way you eat, the way you hold your phone, everything! it wasnt easy to act okay but i was really happy. trust me puteri, i've never seen a girl so perfect in my life. you have haters cause of that. your perfection. Appreciate it cause only 1 in a 1000000 has that. Im sorry for being rude just now, i was stupid and retarded. You may see me as a kid, but im not. i don't understand stupid jokes. i only hangout with guys who are 2 years older than me. but sometimes, my emotions screw me up well. All i wanna say is, Happy Birthday Puteri Nur Ezetty binti Zai. Have a blast. have fun. you're in KL. your hometown. so be happy. once you reach JB, i'll surprise you with a movie date. I love you for who you are. May Allah extends your age and make you peaceful day by day. You've gone through alot. its time to take a day off. "rest" sayang 💕

Thank you really :)

So done

Yeah hes stupid and he was just playing game.

Yup

So freaking done with u and your everything 

Sekian majulah sukan untuk negara k bai

Stupid

Already wrote the whole thing but accidentally erased everything im so mad right now but f it 

Hi yeah i know its been a long time 

Fact that i already moved to a new school is a killer but i pretty much like it here

New school

New friends

New juniors

New seniors

And yeah of course 

New haters

Yup no surprises still the old me maybe a lil bit chubbier than before. What do you  expect its very stressful here and the food homaigod i cant even gahhh

Heres the dealio.  First two weeks got a crush on somebody hah it didnt work out so well or should  i say at all. but that part is too private so not gonna tell you bout that bcs its my life shut up im telling you a story

This short ((taller than me)) dude came by. Being supportive and all caring. Wins my heart. Im dead serious he amazes me with everything he does . His lower lips licks i just god damn it boy stop that. Silent realtionship but the rumors was out so be it. Got my self esteem back. And oh my god his voice i just aaaaaaa and he dances like wth how can he not be amazing. Endless chat. Promised not to say goodbyes. Never say sorry without a reason. Promised not to leave each other. Trust. He got me this highschool-kinda-love feels to a new level. And these butterflies everytime hearing his voice.

People  warned me about him but pfft its me what do you expect? I didnt listen. Never listen.

 I mean how can i just hate somebody that i didnt even try to know yet. So give me time lets get to know each other. 

He loves cats. And we both love to eat chicken. Meat next and fish is the last thing we'd choose. Said that i love chocolate its the best thing ever. He was like yeah okay but gummies are better. Gummies are cool too. Tomyam! Yaasss haha green and blue are his faves. Red black white and all of their mixes too. Said that grey and pastel green are my fav. Why grey? Bcs everybody hate grey so since everybody hate me too, i need to love grey. Haha yeah you said pastel green is your fv colour too. Hahaha exchanged our mechanical pencil. Yup still have em. You said my feet are so small. Im five and youre seven theres no much different ok. Let you listen to my fave song, all of me//john legend. And that moment when i was doing my homework at the canteen listening to my fave song he shocked me when i turned right seeing his face. God damn hes so fine i just i dont know. Butterflies. Never did that to anybody. Hahaha 

Why am i doing this post idek

The sad part is here. Brace yourself

He distanced himself i can feel it i know its okay. Shorter texts. Slower replies. No more heart emojis. No more night wishes or morning. No more waving whenever i passed your class. Thats when i know. This isnt right. This is not you. 

Wish you could tell me whats wrong? What i did wrong? And just stop acting so weird all the time. And bam he said the "we needa talk" 

Waited by the corner of canteen (((not a romantic place with low lights and everything))) ((but my place)) 

He came. Sat down so i faked a smile knowing that im gonna cry very soon but still trying not to look so weak. Borrowed my phone. small capital h. Typed something at the message site.

Showed me "we should take it slow"

I smiled. Holding back tears. 

Said "i know"

Typed again...

"Maybe real slow"

"I know..."

Dont want him to see me to start bursting out tears so i just

 "you know what? Just go..."

"You want me to go?" 

God damn it human i want you to stay but youre the one who are distancing yourself. Why is it so hard for you to see? Dont you get it? 

But those words didnt went out

Shooked my head

He stayed for seconds and i was in silence.

"I need to go"

So he went of got idk somekind of sports stuff.

He saw me covering my face. Came back. Asked if im okay. 

"Im okay, dont worry" smiled. That should make him go. Yeah it works

Bam i cried silently. Went home

That night. Worst night. Long texts. Saying how perfect i am. How much of a douche he is. Fact that i deserve better. That he needs to study. No more distraction. We fall apart. 

But a couple of sentences make me wanting to stay. 

"I swear to god, i do love you"

I dont even know 

What are we now

Tell me if you know

Maybe i was stupid not to listen but thats me i dont care about what others think about anybody. Yeah i loved him. I did. But its okay im fine now living my life. 

Lowering my hopes. 

 

Yeah im okay :)

Moving

Assalamualaikum

Im sorry i didnt get to say goodbye  to all of you :'''(

Yeah i moved to a different school at Johor Bahru. It is Sekolah Sultan Ismail. The students are all smartasses and so nice to me dont worry i'll be fine

I miss every single one of you soooo much :( Ya Allah


So first of all i want to minta maaf if i did anything that hurt you. Im very very very sorry. Please halal kan everything that you guys gave me. If theres anything you want to tell me or if i did owe you please tell me by twitter or anything okay. Belajar rajin rajin and  goodluck for everything. Doakan the best for me okay :(

SMKBB rules foreva <3333333333333

I'll be back in KL on every school hols Insyaallah. We'll meet up sometimes okay

Lots of love xx

Alhamdulillah :)

Assalamualaikum :)


Got my PMR result today :) Hahaha 7As1B Alhamdulillah im grateful even though i know i could have done better. But thats okay thank you Ya Allah

Guess what i got B? BAHASA MALAYSIA

From Zulhelmi : " Hahaha tula, hang asyik speaking London je. Mana taknya.. Haha."

Hahahah i reckon its pretty true tho hahaahh serve me right. I should speak in malay more and I should have read more malay novels instead of "London" books haahahh. But the thing is i cant find any malay books without a greasy love story which is reaaaallllllyyyyyyyy extra super mega sweet. I read some before but well i still like english books better because theyre more magical and much more interesting. Malay books are too realistic and the teenagers novels are too thin and the thick ones are so much about love.

Hahahahah i dont want to blame anything or anyone. Im grateful and insyaallah i will do soooo much better for SPM :)



And btw congrats batch 98 no matter what your result is be grateful, accept it with open heart and work harder for SPM :)


WE CAN DO IT 1998 :)

Manusia

A part of this post will be written in bahasa. Sebab bagi aku bahasa melayu ni dia bahasa yang indah. Its a beautiful language. So why not right?

 Assalamualaikum :)

As you see, tajuk harini. MANUSIA

Aku manusia, kau manusia, sehebat mana kau rasa diri kau, kita tetap sama. Manusia. Hamba Dia. Bakal jenazah.


Kita manusia biasa, tak lari daripada kesalahan. Dalam hidup aku, aku tak pernah tak buat silap, kita manusia biasa kan? Tak sempurna macam Dia. Kadang kadang lidah sendiri pun kita tergigit apatah lagi hal yang besar. Tapi kita spesis kehidupan yang pelik kan? Bila salah seorang makhluk buat silap, fuhlamak bukan main lagi kita judge. Padahal kita ada buat silap lebih teruk dari tu. But just because that one time when we screwed up, and nobody said anything, nobody said "Bro kau tak boleh buat macam tu", nobody trying to help you, that doesnt mean that you can repeat the same mistake again.

Maksud aku, kalau dah sekali kau buat silap, takpayah lah nak ulang hanya disebabkan takde siapa kata benda tu salah. Bukan maksud what you did was right. Kita ada akal, fikir lah. Aku still ingat abang aku kata,

 "Memang lah nobody is perfect,

 But if you ulang kesalahan yang sama everytime,

Itu bodoh namanya"

And for me that sentence fit perfectly dengan manusia yang tak perfect. Kita ada akal, kenapa tak ubah apa yang salah jadi yang betul? Perlu ke ulang? Nak tunggu orang sekeliling kita judge macam macam? Nak tunggu kita down habis? Masa tu baru nak berubah. Woah, I've been there. And to be honest it doesnt feel good. At all. 

Since 2014 is just around the corner, jom hijrah!! :) We start simple. Solat macam biasa jangan tinggal lah kan of course. Tutup aurat perfectly. Stop swearing. Homework jangan tangguh. Try not to judge. Be nice to everyone but still kena ada limit. We can do this insyaallah :) Ya Allah make us a better muslim and muslimah in this world and in the hereafter. Amin Ya Rabb

Just try and change to be better. Slowly insyaallah

PMR result is less than a week Ya Allah. Anyone pun akan rasa cuak. 8A Ya Allah tolong kami. Okay chill Allah ada. Doa.

Tapi bila kadang kadang Allah tak tunaikan apa yang kita minta dalam doa kita, bukan sebab kita tak berhak untuk dapat apa yang kita minta, its just that Allah know that we deserve something which is so much better.

Maybe ada yang tertanya asal post macam ni, 

Well its never to late to remind myself right? And maybe kalau post macam ni we can kill two birds with one stone. But dont kill them for real tho. That is just and idiom. Maaf lah kalau ada yang terasa. Niat cuma nak baiki dan mengingatkan diri sendiri. 

Sekian, Wassalam

Misunderstood

Assalamualaikum :)
Yay for the long weekend and nay for the shits that is going on.


You know that feeling when you actually did nothing wrong and suddenly some idiotic people start to make you feel guilty? Such BOBs (panggilan untuk org yang suka buat kita rasa bersalah) (Matluthfi's youtube)


So let me clear stuff out here. First yes i did had a crush on him but that was looooonnggggggg before i knew he has a girlfriend. When i knew it, i tried like almost every second of the day to stop fall for him. It takes time. He didnt even tell me anything okay. Sorry for not asking him earlier.

You didnt even asked about what had actually happened from the start. Yang kau tahu marah marah marah and keep on going with your attitude of bashing people. And when i said ask, ask about it to my face. if you wanna trash about me the trash it to my face. Dont be such cowards. And please lah... Ask.fm? Really? That is how you make people feel down? Wow very brave. Very super-ultimate-mega-brave ugh


And dont you ever dare say that im a coward for not answering you stupid and mindless question and statement. Not to be rude but all of it were seriously dumb. I made a promise not to answer it. And you people are using weird language dengan typo yg memang ke laut. If you wanna call me with names, please do so to my face. Im not going to payback because that is probably the most immature thing ever. Beat up until you satisfied. Bash me, i dont give a damn. I'll be there for you to cross the line but i guess that will only waste my time.


And gosh stop with being so brave by calling me stuff on ask.fm. You make me sick.


Im sorry about what happened, but i beg you please dont put the blame on me. That is not fair. Being hated by the people who i wanna be friend with is totally the last thing that i want in my life.

You know how much it hurts to know the person you fall for already has somebody in his heart? How much it hurts to stop? How much it hurts to get all the hates for doing something beyond your knowledge? How it hurts more when you cant say shit about it? Im sorry, I really wish i can answer them all. But i cant.


Maybe if youre in my shoe you would try and understand. I can see that youre broken, but stop making me feel guilty. These were misunderstood,Idont know about you. Im just waiting for my tolerance to fade away and all of you to cross the line. If that happens, i will take the blame if you people hate me. Hah funny

I will keep my promise. Sorry if im wrong. You may keep on going to do whatever you want

and btw, when i say sorry it doesnt always have to be my fault. Bye have a great day ahead.

Its overrr

Assalamualaikum people
hows life?


my life is totally miserable but oh well pmr dah habis kan? so merdeka lah juga.

you guys no need to read much 'bout how was my pmr. Pendek cerita it was cool and worth it lah aku belajar sampai dapat dark circles pe semua.


Finally he got himself alive. back from the dead gitu. because he met this girl (yang teramat perfect) that probably make dia jatuh hati ke apa apa jelah. And when i read their conversation on my timeline (tak aku bukan stalker) it totally breaks my heart and i was like, bro aku rasa kau dah boleh give kat dia ni. so yayyyyyyy go puteri

So here I am living my dreams.
We're not against each other still kawan macam biasa ah kan. konon swag tapi tak pun bajet cool bagai. ah kesah apa




Tapi weh seriously saying i dont feel like falling again. but too bad i already did. Nananana hahah im not sure weather this is real or just another crush out of thousands. haih puteri puteri. i just dont feel like having any commitment lah. cukup as a friend yang gempak. hahaha

because in the end your heart will be broken again. sakit.

 jadi lets just wait for that something called love to come by its own. baru cool
aku rasa aku dah baca banyak sangat novel melayu. Sebab tu karang bm aku berbunga bunga time pmr. kalau all of you people read what i wrote, fair warning, you might cry. or just laugh bcs it was quite unlogical but blerghh

you know right? how the cerita novel melayu works? Bertembung dengan handsome guy who looks like a model sesat in the middle of bukit bintang, a lil bit of conflict among their parents. and then kahwin paksa dengan lelaki perfect yang handsome kaya tinggi kelakar sweet semua lah. gila cliche kan?

As for me, aku tak mintak yang perfect. Solat tak tinggal, halal haram tahu, and kena lagi tinggi dari aku. kira okay lah. Hm if that someone is a smoker.... kalau aku dah cinta accept jelah, but insyaAllah aku akan tolong dia to stop smoking. Yelah takkan nak mati sia sia sebab rokok kan? i dont want anybody that i love to be sick or to be in trouble.

seronok jugak kalau dapat ubah hidup somebody for a better future.



dah blur ah nanti kalau ada anything important, next time aku blog lagi. ciao!

You're here

Assalamualaikum.

sup people.

aku tak tahu kenapa lately ni aku banyak terbayang aku akan ditimpa masalah yang banyak. Aku skarang dah banyak masalah. 

I guess Allah miss me hmm? I read something in a book. it says... Bila kau ditimpa masalah dan ujian datang tanpa henti, mungkin sebab Allah rindu dengan kau dan Dia nak kau minta pertolongan daripada-Nya. Terima kasih Ya Allah.

Lately ni aku dah spent kebanyakkan masa aku belajar and buat apa yang sepatutnya aku buat. Insyaallah Allah akan tolong aku hadapi masalh yang aku ada. Hati aku tenang je bila baca ayat suci Al-Quran, walaupun at some part baca tersekat sekat macam wifi kat rumah tapi Alhamdulillah makin lama makin lancar (Y)

Next week dah nak Haari Koperasi :DDDD Koperasi Week is literally my favorite week of every year :D Sebab masa tu akan buat jualan stuff :D untung untung dapat makan free and friendship+brotherhood ngan pengawas koperasi :D Hahah aku tak tipu aku sayang ngan koperasi sekolah and orang2 kat dalam tu. banyak kenangan yang ada :') Ahhh kaau rezeki aku masuk asrama next year mesti rindu kan? 

Tak sabar nak jual kupon for hari koperasi!!! Round satu sekolah weee

Oh btw trial PMR akhir Julai. Korang doakan aku dapat straight As okay? aku tak nak kecewakan mak ayah aku lagi :( Paling sedih sekali time Science daripada 91 boleh drop sampai 60? Gila tak gila lah kan aku sedih time tu. Aku dah lah takde tempat nak mengadu. Sape nak ajar aku pun aku tak tahu. Tapi Insyaallah aku akan concentrate kat dalam kelas and time extra-class Permata Sayang tu. Harap boleh membantu

aku tak faham doh. setiapa kali aku pergi sekolah dalam sehari kat sekolah tu mesti akan ada satu masa yang aku akan tidur. Especially time Sejarah,Geo and Science which when semau kat dalam science lab yang kipas atas kepala tu kan, emph memang lena ah kalau dah terletak kepala atas meja tu.

ahahahha aku rasa aku kat dalam kelas tu dah macam Sleeping Beauty (lah sangat) ahahaahah Almost everyday aku tidur. masa tu either Nana (Sabrina/deskmate aku) akan kejut atau pun cikgu akan kejut aku. kalau cikgu yang kejut memang segan tahp gaban ah kan hahahah. Satu-satunya masa aku tak pernah tidur masa belajar is masa Pendidikan Agama Islam and PJK. Yelah kat dalam surau kalau nak tidur macam kurang ajar pulak , lagipun ustaz aku ajar best tak boring. And PJ pulak sebab boleh main boleh main bola tampar best (Y) tapi kalau kena buat sit-up or bumping tu hmmmmmmmhhhh.... hahah

Oh and budak form 1 and 2 pergi Kem Kembara Hati! Jealous gila wehhh! 3 ahri 2 malam pulak tu. Masa zaman aku form 1 dulu tak de pulak dia nak buat kem camni ishhhh. Lepastu siap ajak Ustaz Shahir jadi penceramah pulak tu untungnyaaaa. And then faci semua form fivers. ahhahah mesti seronok kan, and then dapat banyak pengalaman macam macam boleh belajar. have fun korang

And lately ni aku dah anggap Taekwondo tu a lil' bit serious haha nak naik belt punya pasal and nak pergi tournament lagi. Takde lah orang pandang rendah and akcau aku lol. sorry yang pernah kena tumbuk tu. saja orang gurau hehe. takdelah aku nak balance everything. Study, Koko, and Iman. aku nak jadi baik camtu ahhahaha and aku nak cuba sebaik mungkin dalam hidup sebab kita hidup sekali je kan. 

And aku rasa dah cukup panjang dah entry kali ni. Hmm k ah doakan aku berjaya for Trial and PMR tau! Ya Allah bantu lah hamba-Mu yang lemah ini. Amin

Give up

i gave up on this person. adoring him is enough. More than tha? Damn tiring

The only person i will never give up on is him :) never wil

Broken hm

cant believe that it ends.



but no matter what i still respect him for being a gentleman and say it to myself. well at least he wont hurt anymore longer. lol its funny that i shed a tear. Can we be just friends? um i dont think i can act like nothing had ever happen, we might be strangers to each other but i'll try my best fuhhh fighting! Just good luck in your life and hope youre happy with this out off the blue decision. You made your choice, what else can i do? Faking a smile? I made mistakes and im sorry. I really am. but just remember... you left. I know its my fault

Come on lah sapa yang tak sedih kan? my heart is already broken and nothing you do is going to fix them, yeah i did love you once and that is not a mistake i really do love you. But why must i cry over something that already had happen. I love you too much and it breaks my heart when i know all of this is my fault. Forgiven fosho but to be forgotten maybe never. its not easy for me to fall into someone like i fall for you. just please know i love you so much and that was before. Insyaallah i wont fall for you again bcs i know how it going to end. plus my heart is not a game where you can just do anything you want to win. oh hell naaahhh.

We might be complete strangers, and maybe in the middle of somewhere i'll fall for you again but i'll try my hear to not to break my heart and hurt you again. Well i thought maybe im destined with somebody else way better who will understands me and love me just the way i am, and that time i was thinking.... Is there someone better? Wallallahu a'lam

Im sorry if i avoid making eye contact with you and avoid meeting you bcs everytime i saw you all the memories will come back and my bam! mini heart attack

Well at least now i dont have to take care of someone's heart too much and i can be friend with anyone, everyone and hoping not to breaks anyone's hear or even hurt anyone.....


But for now im going to focus on my studies and my school activities and show them that i am SO not weak and show them that they underestimated me. We're gonna see whos laughing then huh?

oh and sorry bcs i dreamt that i punched you in the face ^_^V wont happen one lah. um InsyaAllah okay? but if it reallllly did happen then maybe you deserve it harhar and i bet if i got to hit you even once its gonna feel so good!




and i will treasure all of the memories.

Game over. New Perspective

Assalamualaikum :)

So, mostly everything is already settled down, well kinda,  but whatevah THUMBS UP (Y) woohoo

lol k so now.... idk what to talk about :P Aha! Exam's result for the end of the year exam :) Well its good enough for me even though its a lil' bit less than what i had expected. But still its never enough for my prents, duhhhhhhhh, They wanted my result and my marks to be all up to 90% =.= seriously, im a teenage too, not some kind of mutan that have awesome super power LOL Well whatever my result is im still grateful :D

oh and these past few weeks i spent a lot of time tweeting and skyping with... well i've considered them as ma bestfriend <3 #Brofist hahahh Aldreen, Syahmi, Sheikh, and some others :) And i wasted a lot of time by not studying really.... the only thing i read was Sejarah and Agama form3. Good enough 'aite? oh and some Maths :P I was really good at math, until they inserted some alphabets.... But i can do better Insyaallah if i practice :D

Talking about studying, starting from this week i'll be going for tuition at Kasturi with Ain, and maybe Anis if her dad let her to go, of course. Its gonna be easy for Ain cause her sister-in-law gonna send her to the tuition class, and i might have to use rapidkl bus and LRT.... amagahhhh ALONE, i hate being alone :'( never mind after Ain get used to it maybe her parents will let her use public transport :) PMR NEXT YEAR :DD  LAST BATCH OF PMR '98s . SO Najib please make Sejarah and other paper easier, please bro.

Sejarah for form3 has a lot of Perang =.= mehhh Reading Sejarah is like purposely reading your bedtime story which make you automatically turn to sleep LOL, there was one time i really dreamt that i wans Maharaja Meiji and i tried to release a nuclear bomb at Malaysia.... yeah i dont even know waht kind of dream was that.

And this holiday i didn't get to go for outing with ma friends that much... Papa wont let me :| he said its dangerous for a teenage girl like me to go out with guy friends, they are the only people whos going for outing, Yeah, i know its not nice, so sorry people. But i was thinking of going for an outing with some girls from SKBP... well i think Papa will let me (Y) Ohmygod I miss Alya  so damn muchhh :') oh i mean Naddy <3 haahha her new name is so cute, and i miss Farihah, and Aina, Laila, Husnaaaaaaa :DDD Syuu tak rindu sangat asyik tgk muka dia je, lolll nolah just kidding Syuu :*

I really hope i can meet them soon :O See you later then... Bye <3

oh and btw, i might going to start using tumblr, but idk yet, im still thinking heh :) kk Buhbaii #brofist

Truth hurts

Hey guys... Lately my friends are ignoring me, now i know why.
i'm not in the mood today,
okay straight to the point k.

Today my friends were having this "CONFESSION" , im going to take it positively :) no worries
im sorry im using aku k? Aku tak tahu nak cakap macam mana depan korang. Aku terima ape korang cakap and insyaallah aku berubah okay? 

This Is How I Feel

the confession are ALL on me, yeah i know, im not nice, my joke is harsh, i'm too friendly and these characteristics hurt y'all . aku tak tahu nak cakap ape bila korang depan mata aku. THIS

 just read k.

okay, orang yang first bagitau salah aku kat dia... Ayin kata aku nak rapat rapat ngan Julia dia yang dia kenal daripada kecik, Aku bukan ade sebab pun nak rapat ngan kawan dia, aku kawan ngan semua orang k! SALAH SANGAT KE NAK JADI FRIENDLY WEH! Yaa, aku memang selalu hug dia and kitorang macam orang bercinta, Kau kata tak baik lah, nanti orang kata aku lesbian lah ape lah,  i wanna say the f word but its not nice, your words hurt me the most yin, Kalau aku tak layan dia kau hargai dia sangat ke?????? kau sendiri kata kau ade masalah ngan dia and dia pun jarang nak dengar pasal ape kau nak cakap pasal korea semua tu. Aku tak bangang lagi lah sampai nak jadi lesbian. And kau cakap kalau aku peluk dia ke ape nanti orang lain akan kata aku lesbian lah, it is so wrong la, fyi , i dont give a damn about whatever others saying about me. Bila aku "rampas" kawan kau, kau sedar... Kau sedar tak bila kau selalu cerita dengan kawan Ain aku yang rasa kau amik kawan aku. Aku pergi dekat kawan kau pun sebab kau amik kaawan aku k, bukan kata aku nak revenge, aku pergi kat ju sebab aku tgk dia selalu duduk sorang sorang, kau selalu ignore dia, Sebab tu aku nak mintak maaf and aku nak kau kalau aku tak rapat lagi dengan bestfriend kau, kau tolong lah APPRECIATE kawan kau, TOLONG LAH. btw, masalah kau dengan bestfriend kau tu pergi lah selesai kan dulu, aku minta maaf ah kat kau k. And you did said that i'm a bitch, SUREEEE IM TOTALLY A BITCH KAAAAAAAAN, aduh,,, kalau ya pun nak confess takyah lah sampai keluar perkataan kasar macam tu depan aku doh, haih dah lah forgive and forget. Tadi aku dah cakap kat juju, we cant hug each other anymore, sorry juju, we're still friends k?

Next the same topic about "rampas" lawan thingy, Sumpah Khaliesy aku takde niat nak rampas Melor dari kau, aku cuma nak tahu perkembangan dia dengan ihsan tu je, Kau cuba bagi satu sebab, kenapa aku nak rapat ngan melor? sebab dia lawa? aku pun lawa. sebab dia kaya? aku pun kaya. sebab dia popular? aku lagi popular. haaaa nampak tak permainan dia... bukan aku nak perasan or meninggi diri, tapi kalau dia ade semua kelebihan tu aku boleh buat ape ? of cos lah dia lagi lawa daripada aku... tapi aku buakan nak buat face transplant pun....... sorry lah, aku tak nampak sebab kau nak kata aku cuba nak rampas kawan kau, Kau pun bukan selalu dalam kelas sebab kau pengawas, masa pagi, kau masuk kelas lambat. masa rehat kau keluar awal, balik rehat kau lambat, Masa kau takde, melor duduk depan aku, kau nak expect aku tak cuba nak rapat ngan dia macam mana, aku biar dia tak cakap ngan sesapa kesian lah pulak, aku tahu korang memang bestfriend forever, sorry ah Khaliesy kalau kau bengang ngan aku k? one more time SALAH SANGAT KE NAK JADI FRIENDLY ?!!!! haih korang ni.... aku nak cakap depan2 karang terkasar pulak, tak habis cakap lagi korang dah potong,,, apa ape pun sorry ah


Haaa.... yang ni aku mintak maaf dulu k, Aku tak sangka pulak Ain rasa macam tu, sebab bagi aku kan ain, kau sorang je kawan yang aku selalu gurau sebab aku fikir kau tak kesah, harini baru aku tahu yang cara kau tak kesah tu sebenarnya sebab kau "takut" dengan aku sebab aku selalu marah marah,  Ye aku tahu aku gurau kasar,,,, sebab aku fikir kau tak kesah sorry, aku ingat yang aku main pukul pukul tu kau tak kesah, pasal kambing kau tu nanti bila aku ada rezeki kalau aku pergi Singapore aku belikan baru,pasal ticket smash tu aku pun sedih jugak sebab kau tiba2 kata kau tak pergi, kau nak kata aku paksa kau, padahal kau yang first2 rela nak pergi lepastu kata tak boleh, mana aku tak bengang, sedhi pun ade gak, lupakan jelah pasal smash tu, aku mintak maaf if kau rasa aku paksa paksa kau. pasal masa buat poster english environment tu aku cakap kau bawak malang kan? THAT IS A JOKEEEEEEEEE, kenapa amik serious,,,, at last kau colour jugak kan poster tu, sorry lah ain aku selalu gurau kasar dengan kau,,,,,,,,,, tu pun sebab kau kawan yang aku paling rapat , I think...


Anissssssss, aku mintak maaf k, aku tak ingat dah pasal aku kata "Semua orang yang kau suka pindah doe, bawak malang lah kau" SORRRRYYY nis, sumpah aku tak maksud kan benda tu serious, aku gurau je, sorry lah,sebab kata kata and gurauan aku gila kasar kat kau an, sorry ah weh, kau pun jangan lah abaikan aku lagi, kau selalu tinggal kan aku ngan mira lepastu pergi kat wani,,, lagi satu, kau bila berkawan kau selalu berpihak kot, kau dulu kau rapat ngan ainna, lepastu ngan amirah, lepas tu dengan aku lepastu dengan wani, bila kau abaikan aku and pergi kat wani, kau tak kan dapat bayang kan rasa sedih kat dalam hati aku nak kata wani yang salah tak boleh jugak sebab memang bukan salah dia, aku rasa amirah pun ade rasa macamtu bila kau rapat ngan aku dulu and abaikan dia, rasa lah, aku  bukan nak salah kan kau, cuma aku nak bagitau pendapat and ape yang aku rasa pasal diri kau,and ade someone cakap yang Korang semua tak nak bagitau rahsia korang pasal siapa korang suka kat aku sebab nanti aku rapat2 ngan dia, K pasal aku cakap dengan crush kau, Ingat tak masa aku cakap HAI kat dia, kau nampak tak expression dia macam mana? Dia tak cakap hai pun balik, kitorang mana ade rapat?! macam mana kau boleh anggap aku nak rapat2 dengan orang yang kau suka aku over friendly memang lah aku suka tegur orang, bila masa nya aku nak rapat2 ngan crush kau, kalau terserempak pun kitorang bagi salam, and yang lain pun pasal koperasi k. SALAH KE NAK JADI FRIENDLY...... Nevermind, forgive and forget k? aku mintak maaf anis,

Mira pulak kata yang aku SUKA RAPAT DENGAN ORANG YANG DIA SUKA :O seriouslyyyyyyyyy, Miraaaa , abang faera mira tu kita dah kenal dia sejak kita standard 3 lah,,, Kalau memang kita rapat dengan dia kita bukan nya nak buat mira jealous, haihhh..... mira sendiri kenal kita kan? kita memang suka tegur orang, btw, kita tegur semua orang sama rata takde kurang or lebih k, mira maybe rasa yang kita saja nak rapat ngan faaaaa untuk buat mira jealous, tapi kita rasa tu sebab mira punya hati tu memang dah dekat dia so perhatian mira lebih kat dia n membuat kan mira nampak kita rapat ngan dia lebih, tak mira. TAK. kita rapat dengan semua orang memang macam tu. Kita mintak maaf lah jugak sebab buat mira rasa sedih or anything, Mira cuba pergi tegur orang yang mira suka, orang yang mira minat semua kenal mira tau, ihsan pun sama, faaaa tu pun sama, tah lah mira, kita tak tahu nak cakap ape ngan mira lagi, sorry tau mira, sorry.


Melor, aku mintak maaf ah jugak kat kau , aku selalu rosakkan kerja kau, masa kau mention aku kat twitter as orang yang selalu ruin kau punya kerja tu, aku terasa gak, but aku anggap tu as a joke jelah aku tak kesah sangat, sebab memang betul pun, Pasal yang aku kata aku menyesal kenalkan kau kat ihsan tu dah LAAAMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAA DAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, i said it ages ago.... Im happy for both of you, aku cakap macam tu dulu pun dalam nada gurau, seingat aku ramai yang gelak masa aku cakap macamtu, its a joke, I'm sorry k melor? And aku tahu sekarang kau dah tak layan aku sangat sebab kau takut khaliesy sedih... takpe aku faham, tapi jangan lah abaikan aku mcam tu je, terasa doh aku kau buat macam tu, aku fikir ape salah aku kat kau banyak kali bila kau start ignore aku, Takpe , at least skarang aku tahu kau buat macam tu nak jaga hati kawan baik kau, its okay, ape ape pun aku mintak maaf lah if aku ade tinggi suara kat kau or buat kau sakit hati, sorry tau melor....


Ainnaaaaa, sorry jugak lain kali aku beli ais sendiri okay?  sorry Ainna, Athiqah pun sama, aku mintak maaf atas kesalahan aku if aku ade buat salah or anything kat kau ,


okaaay.
Lain kali bila aku buat salah, korang bagitau masa aku buat salah tau, sebab bila korang pendam banyak2 and let it go in one shot, Korang tak dapat bayangkan betapa sakitnya hati aku, aku rasa otak mcam nak gila masa tu, hati aku serious kata memang sakit,  cuba ah korang bayangkan diri korang di tempat aku, aku tahu aku buat salah aku minta k maaf banyak2 okay, lain kali jangan pendam tau, sorry

Phew, ringan otak aku sekarang, korang pun rasa lega bila dah cakap dengan aku kan, Sorry lah aku tak boleh nak cakap macam ni depan korang sebab aku tak reti nak buat ayat macam mana untuk luah kan semua,ni , if aku cakap nanti suara aku jadi kuat maca bom nuklear meletup, mehhh, aku nak lepaskan je semua pendapat aku tadi tapi tak terkeluar ayat, sorry tau atas segala perangai buruk aku kat korang?

Okay insyaallah, aku takkan gurau kasar lagi ngan korang, aku jaga ape yang aku nak cakap, aku takkan melebih lebih dengan orang yang korang sayang, sorry lah, Sorry, at first aku fikir korang faham and tak kesah dengan sifat terlebih friendly aku ni, tak sangka sampai boleh buat korang sakit hati ngan aku,  SORRRRYYYY, and aku nak cakap thank you kat korang jugak sebab korang luahkan semua yang korang  rasa dengan perangai aku :D Kita kawan okay? Sorry for everything. I'll change but i need time. And dont expect everything will be the same because youre not in my shoe. 

Dreaming?

Hye Earthlings :) this post supposed to be posted on July 5th tapi takpelah

k he's super mega awesome laaaa,

so here it goes, i was staying back on thursday and Mahathir was staying back too :) yayyy! its ish sho fun i can't even describe it by words, i duduk ngan dia after everything dah habis :O serious memang nervous gila!! my hands were freaking cold that time , hahahah my friends yang suruh i duduk ngan dia, k i love my fella :) to make it not boring i cakap la benda yang i sendiri tak faham,  at first sayid datang and then amer pulak datang,,  and then we played monkey in the middle :)

and then pukul 4 something like that i kena balik... so i waved at him :) and then i went to the canteen to take my bag and i pergi kat depan, oh i saw him, i cakap jom gi jalan2, ahhahaha LOL he waited for me sampai bas datang, rumah dia dekat gila dengan sekolah :) andthen the bus arrived so i waved again at him, he's so tall ==' ahahhaah

pergi je office mama terus amik bb dia online! hahahah serious excited x) k dia tak online...

on that night wahhh!! its the awesomest thing! kitorang chat and sampai satu part tu, he said

i slapped my own cheek because it seems like a dream :O OMG YOU KNOW WHAAATT?!

It Is Not A Dream :')

_________________________________________________________________________________

The only person that i am deeply in love is this beautiful creature :) Yes I do love him :) and Yes I said Yes.

Insyaallah I will try to keep this relationship :) 

:) i die and fly every time you said that you love me :)

Never

Hye Whats up earthlings :)

this past few weeks had been freaking lucky for mehhhh!!
hahahah
reamember on my last post when i said that i gave up on someone i love for my friend? okay, now i wanna tell you that there are something which is really awesome had happen


i asked my friend haritu whether she still likes him or not then she said NO, well obviously its a lie, because i can see it in her eyes that she really likes him! hmm, not trying to be cool or anything but since she said that she tak suka dekat that guy anymore, and since I can't even give up on him, like seriously GIVE UP on someone you love, so i said to myself Let's Give It A Try because I Don't Think I can Give Up On This One :D

i know that its gonna hurt my good friend's feeling but theres something in me that ask me to go and love him more :O

i sincerely like him, so it is kinda obvious that i like him because my heart are getting all excited and they are playing the jungle beats drum and my hands are freakingly cold when i'm near him or he is standing in front of me! oh man... i kinda like that feelings but i kinda hate it also because it is so hard for me to talk to him, in addition dia punya bestfriend selalu gila ade dengan dia like seriously ALWAAAAYYYSSS around him...

i memang naaakkk sangat borak ngan dia in LIVE ACTION bukan setakat in facebook, but facebook is kinda helping me  too :)

OH! you know how do i confess to him even if dia kata dia tahu that i likes him, but actually he said he doesn't know like yang macam mana ....

so... to make him clear about me liking him veli veli much i wrote his name on a paper and then i wrote I LIKE YOU! ahahahahah its the first time i did that and its the first time i confessed! i swear! it is the first time i said that i like someone :O ahhahaa

but its kinda funny though at first i tunjuk dia terbalik that paper

and then he buat expression yg that paper is upside down so i was freakingly blushing that time and i pusing balik that paper and it is so FAAAANNNNN haahah

for me it worth it because he said that he likes me too :D because i'm AWESOME and i berani gila hahaha

but i'm pretty scared that he likes me because i like him :(

harap dia ikhlas, because i dont really care if he didn't likes me the way i like him as long he ikhlas wanna be friend with me hahah, 

one thing is annoying and confusing the others, they keep asking whether we are together or somewhat,

mostly i jawab=kosong~~~

sometimes i jawab=idk,maybe not YET

haahah

hahah people we're friends lar :)

we're cool and awesome bhahahahah :D

well maybe thats all for this time so... ADIOS AMIGO! 

oh one more thing , when you call what i'm doing is DESPERATE, i call it HARD WORK WITHOUT GIVING UP :D

okay dah Assalamualaikum, BYEEE  

GOOD LUCK IN LIFE

Birthday? ohhh

whats up brosss :)

its not my birthday anymore XD hahaha thanks for all the wishes fellas, It's not the most happening birthday i had celebrated but its fine because I think i'm a grown up girl now,, so we have to keep it cool a little bit, right?  :)
having fun with my family the whole day :) even if i didn't get any present but the love they give me is enough :) oh and thanks to YOU! the first person who wished me :) you're awesome bro :) all of the wishes makes me feel better :)

haahahah thanks to those who already remembered my birthday since May :) love y'all :)

yay I'm fourteen now and its time for me to be a lot more mature and be a little bit cool now... and i wanna be more brave and being awesome and i wanna be friends with everybody :)

WHY?

Whats up people :)
its time for a new post

today dah 4 orang tanya aku pasal drummer tu...belum campur yg lepas tu lagi... wahai penanya2 ku yg tercinta... saya belum kenal dia sedalam tu sampai nak tahu segala benda pasal dia... pecah otak saya nak jawab soalan korang yang susah mengalah kan soalan Bahasa Malaysia tu... eish exam BM susah gila tahu! bila korang tanya soalan tu semua jari saya menggigil nak type nak jawab chat korang :/ tk kesian kat saya ke? Soalan paling popular ialah "Siapa yg dia tgh waiting for"

sejujurnya saya langsung tak tahu dan tak berminat nak tahu siapa dia tgh tunggu because i know that is his privacy and i hate myself because i have to ask him that stupid question :/

korang nak tahu pergi laa tanya dia saaaayyyyaaaanggggg...

i don't get it! why? 

walaupun korang kata dia popular laa... hot laa... dia tak sombong :) thats why i said he's very nice and he's awesome :) he answered every chat, so no worries laa, just pull yourself together up and GO ASK HIM, tapi saya lagi prefer takyah tanya, because if i was him,i will get really annoyed if a stranger suddenly ask about something personal... well saya kesian gak kat dia :/ kena jawab soalan banyak2, tapi disebabkan dia baik maybe dia akan layan korang :)

hee, sorry ar saya tak tahu nak jawab soalan korang macam mana :( 

ishh,,, hari2 nak post pasal benda ni pun tak boleh gak... hmm 

oh! twitter saya semakin happening bila lebih ramai lai orang ade twitter, brader drummer tu dah pandai follow orang mana dia belajar tah hahahah XD  

and now i'm addicted to PEWWWDIEPIE XD

he's damn awesome wehh! ahahahah if theres some of you yang tak kenal Pewdiepie... go search his name kat youtube and watch his video, awesome gilaaa

here,some of his picture :)

sorry,the words in his videos is kinda harsh for some people but its still funny :)

yeah thats all, Bye BROSSSS

THEM?

Everyday,its precious,

1st my heart is broken,2nd a warm-hearted guy,3rd new friend,

so here the karma goes, orang ade crush kat sorang senior ni, but at the same time one of my good friend is liking him too, but i dont really care that time, because i thought its just another symptom of being a normal high school-er, so we both are having fun talking about this awesome guy, he really are, he's good looking,he got that very innocent scent that can make any girl melted whenever he talked, so, i started to get a liiiiitttllle bit jealous, ahahah its kinda funny lol!  then , that one day my friend told me that she didn't like him any more, and my heart  was really happy that time :) i keep looking at him whenever he walked pass, i was damn excited when i get to talked to him, i was saying "Oh my god i'm talking to him!" and you know what ==' i was saying it loud,, well at least he know who am i now :)

then, this one particular day, that friend of mine suddenly told me that she already confessed to that guy, she told me that she said to him that she liked him long ago, but STILL ==' i was like

seriously woman? i cried the whole day,i dont even know why do i cried, oh skarang baru aku sedar, he's so special... and know what? i gave up on him because i know this crush is going away :)

oh then, here comes this senior :) he's awesome but i swear i don't like him, well i will if he does lol.. he's kinda good looking too. his hair is like Harry's and he wear braces and know what?! hes a drummer (Y)

Almost perfect but he's waiting for a girl, faithful gila 'aite XD i told him not to wait and just go for it, i mean told her that u like her, because for me its impossible for a girl to not accept him because he's almost perfect... Nobody's Perfect ler~ sometimes i told him about how i feel about something, and he gave me some advice or he cheer me up, no that doesn't make my heart fall for him, he's very nice,talented and awesome,just, he deserve someone better then any normal girl like me,i'm just a plain lil' girl nothing special 

i'll always support you bro :) thanks for all the songs you gave me,it makes me smile all the way, and no worries you can do it! Oppa Fighting!

whoops! look at the time, got to go now, actually i'm just too lazy to type more.. maybe later,,

Life goes on

isn't it weird how a person can change completely in a blink of an eye? the worse part is when that person change negatively... it hurts when that person change from the way he used to be to an unknown stranger...

pfftt... dont mind what i typed up there,, its fun to type a dramatic script ;P hehe sorry ehh?,, my life in SMKBB is getting better ,, woohoo!! its fun having a lot of friends and awesome seniors around me <3 

ANNYEONG-HASEYO CHINGU yaaa

studies is not bad,, not bad at all :D but my Maths is getting weaker though, I wish ALYA NADHIRAH can compete with me again just like the old times in SKBP :P goshh I miss her,,, also LAILA,HUSNA,FARIHAH and the others :D

fyi, I just finished my exams YAY! i have a really high expectations to get As in Maths and Sejarah,, hope so laa,, kalau lulus pun dah cukup bersyukur :D

and I'm a die-hard fan to ONE DIRECTION jyeahhh thanks to JULIA and WANI, they make me addicted to them,, theres Niall Horan,Louis Tomlinson,Harry Styles,Zayn Malik and Liam Payne,, 5 hot guys in a band :D LOVE'M

well no worries I'm still a K-POPPER hahahha AYIN and ANIS are K-poppers too,, ayin love Girls Generation now,,, thanks to anis and me ^^V Ayin keep telling us about GG every morning on the assembly at school hahha she's fun!!

AND KNOW WHAT?? i got my masterpiece about "AL-KISAH 1 JUJUR" published in the school magazine :DDD yay.. heyy, not every first year made it in school magazine okayy,, and if you're asking whether i'm proud or not... hell yeah I'M DEADLY PROUD LAA hahaha

nowww,,,, ITS HOLIDAY DUDE muahahahha not much to tell yaa, its still the forth day of school holiday,, for the first time (maybe) the school people are smart enough to let us having holidays after the stressful exams,,

Abang bought me the PURPLE BEATS which I'm dying to have :D he's so nice and handsome and awesome and he's the most gentleman guy in the world *enough abang??* kakaakakhh,,

oh yaa, I've started using contact lens for school and everybody was like....

 

they show me their awesomely shocked face when i'm not wearing my glasses,,, some were asking "WHO ARE YOU???" or "WHERE IN THE EARTH IS YOUR GLASSES" and some would say "PRETTY LAA WEHH" and some were like "HUIYO AWEK LAA"  i just laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.....

today i'm going to JOHOR yeahhh!!  but theres one thing thats not fun 'bout going back to my hometown,,, KENA KEMAS RUMAH,,, penattt gila D:  

have to do the Science notes and some revision,,, And i'm waiting for Dream High 2 episode 13 at maaduu.com :D lambat betul!  I LOVE JB <3 bukan Justin Bieber yaa,, JB is one of the character in DH2 he's full name is Jang Ho Jae,, i don't know his real name yet... hmm maybe Anis going to tell me later haha

maybe thats all for this post,,, if theres anything later i'll make a new post okay?? love you laa readers